echoes of my heart
Sometimes, I thought of my disposition in life. More often than not i
compare how am I now from how am I used to be when I was a kid. I
cannot help myself to think how such a big looser I am. Sometimes, it
comes into my mind that I am a failure. I wonder if my family is proud
of me? or if I am the "ley" that they wanted to be? or they just wished
that I never grow old and remain as the sweet little girl who only
knows how to laugh,sing and dance amidst a gloomy day?
I wonder how can I fill in this emptiness and loneliness that I am
feeling. No matter how hard I try to be tough and strong there will
always be a time that I will just breakdown and cry. I can’t understand
how come even though there’s lot’s of people around me, i still feel
alone.
I hate the feeling that no matter what I do, people will not be
satisfied with it. They will not be happy about it. No matter how hard
I try that will always be the situation. It’s also known as the "sad
reality" and I’m beginning to get tired of it.
A friend once said, "it’s not about what would they say, it’s about what you feel, what you want, what will make you happy"
he’s damn true, but come to think of it, no matter what I do, I am still at the "loosing end" and that will never change….ever..probably this is my destiny for real.
